Good evening, proles! Rondorr the Mystic here. I am determined to conquer all forms of media entertainment with my magical powers. I have been hearing a lot about this Internet thing, so I decided to conquer it. Whoever is in charge of this whole Internet thing, I am afraid you must be prepared to step down very soon.
Now, keep in mind that I am not from the same dimension as you. My land is called Immortus Maximus, and there are goblins there. I don't mean to blow your mind, but I have ACTUAL MAGICAL POWERS. For example: levitation, precognition, and fireballs.
I don't really understand how this Internet stuff works. I am dictating this letter--excuse me, a "post," Chad tells me it's called a post--to Chad, my intern, who assures me that when you read this, it will be festooned with dragons and fiery skulls and other bad-ass imagery. So, try not to be scared as I take you down the road to actual wizardry.
This is only the beginning. Prepare your brain.
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